I had a dream I wore this sailor hat...it was really cool.
I also found my West Point Seminar Notes- This is what it says

Thoughts from the US Military Academy 11/9
Today is November Ninth...I am kind of tired but wearing nice paints but no socks...hmmm. I love uniforms and I am Kind of turned on by sitting here. Eh. This feeling is unnew to me.
Our Country=crazy

You can really tell i was paying attention in that Hall filled with large pictures of generals and officers =)

So...apparently I dont have sex with people!
I am outraged at this society! I am completely outraged at this sexually one sided horribly society! It is a man's world...but of course i learned last night in student theater that in this world of men, women control the penis, so it's a woman's world...but that's just an opinion...who's cares about someone's opinion when the world has to be objective and blah blah blah...
Objective! I hate that fucking word...I have hang ups, I will never be objective. Johnny Garrison, objective? Yes, he "wanted to penetrate me once!" how the fuck are you objective about anything sexual! You will always have feelings...its psychological, it lives in your brain after you die...in heaven you still dream of it. There is nothing you can do to escape it...once it's done, it's done...and that's it...you're screwed..LITERALLY!
So...apparently I dont have sex with people! I have steel trap morals...more like inhibitions...yes Sir, I'd LOOOVE to sleep with you but account of Jesus and the holy Trinity, I apologize but i cant do it. I sleep with someone for "love" something the Bible tells me so. And yes, at Bard, people usually dont say no...and now i have a reputation for being Frigid. You'd be frigid too if you had experiences like I did...men lying to me all the time...my first kiss was the most evil thing anyone has ever done to me...and now Johnny Garrison...The Navy and the Air Force, really have some explaining to do.
The inhibitions are most likely the fact that I feel like i'm still eight...flying kites and playing with dolls...I should smack myself in the face and realize that my best friend is pregnant and almost married, i just finished my first year of college...I am an adult...I can have sex with other people...
One day, everything will change...When i was fat and unhappy in 5th grade i told myself one day everything would change and they would all worship me. And partly it came true...i changed into something erratic but it was something people could relate to...yes, relate to...I have a smile on my face, just the face in the crowd...you have no excuse to hate me now...flawless?
Wow...what a rant...maybe I'll go have sex.

Goldfinger!
I have painted me singing Goldfinger...I want a gold dress and come out...running down a golden aisle...screaming the words to the songs...and all the people in the audience would drink their martinis (shaken, not stirred) and clap...Man, my imagination is messed up.
I am talking to Diana...Alex's friend from Muncie, IN (magical Muncie!) and I learned a lot from her. One thing is that everyone is mad at Johnny Garrison and not me...and when he gets back from Texas...they will destroy him! She's so cool...
A little known fact: Alex wanted to be Indiana Jones when he was 8. So he is human!
You make a powerful enemy...you're going to be squashed!
I'm thinking of making the name Johnny Garrison evil. You know, up there with Adolf Hitler...
I saw plays tonight and I'm thinking of putting on "Bard at War" now...because it just seems right.
I will type more after the Phillip Glass opera tomorrow...
bye

I have downloaded all the James Bond themes...the earlier ones are awesome..."From Russia with Love" is awesome...I should be dancing in a large room...
I am having a war with the guy downstairs..."From Russia with Love" vs. Heavy Metal...

I think I'm winning

He woke me up from my nap...therefore...he gets lounge music...the ultimate punishment!

Emotionally I want to beat myself...maybe it's because i have PMS...but something is about to explode.
I am sexually charged, emotionally unstable, I am mad...I am sad...I am overflowing with psychological choas! I sound like a fucking poem, so...there's something wrong.
From sexual experimentation to Alex's hypotheticals...what the hell am I supposed to do now!
sidenote- I love our dorm setting...i hear the phone ringing from Oberholzer (that's pretty damn far from my windows)
Brahms Cello Sonata to school being almost over. Everynight going to bed dreaming of places that don't exist...happy places filled with Johns: perticually the O'Leary and Garrison kind. "I long to see you..." That's what John O'Leary says to me. And the thing about John is that he writes back...he understands and loves me...I count him as one of my greatest assets.
Look at me, so weepy and unhappy! This is not the way life should be.
I'm going to cheer up Nathalie...with the monorail episode of the simpsons...
"hehehehe...mule"

Pimp Daddy Rags: well, hypothetically, under what circumstances would you get back with me?

Good morning Emily!

Alex has just IMed me...
For some reason, I have lost my appetite...especially because we're talking about sex...
Hey, like old times!