I am going to do the West Point seminar...because after all, we do things we dont want to...am I right?

I watched Pride and Prejudice last night and will watch the second DVD today (it's 5.5 hours long!!!) But it is so very good and I love it. I only wish I could live in that time period for I would have nothing to do but sit and wait for men to swoon. Easier said than done I'm sure.
I talked to Caitlin Breen last night...its been so long she thought i was still dating Alex. I told her about Pete, she told me that Ned was enjoying the Naval Academy and all that. I should really go visit him for my book...when my friend James goes there, I will be sure to pay him a call or two...I would love to see his face when I shake his hand. Hopefully the military has taught him about how it's good to be polite to people and not ignore them for three years on the basis of nothing. Ahhh the military yields such sparkling characters...
Well, I'm off to the campus center and then off to the "Klineland" I thought Kline would be a good name for Germany's famed demilitarized zone...though I dont think Hitler would be inclined to take over this Klineland, but yet again...Hitler was a greedy man. I'm sure Hitler would find Kline a suitable gas chamber.

Let me just say one thing...

I am not mad at Jesse Aylen...I am mad at his ability to make me wait for him. I have my own schedule, I like hanging out with him because he is good company and my best friend...but when a friend keeps blowing you off and making fun of you...well, then I think I have to comprehend who my friends really are. I am not sorry...I will never be sorry...even if I am still your friend I will not be sorry for my actions.

I will not lose again...like all those other times in my life where I have lost. I am going to make this one count.
So Jesse, I am not mad at you...but it's your attitude that's bothering me...
you can tell me I'm the same way whatever...this isn't about me, this is about you...
As Alex used to say to me all the time: change my dear....

Of course Alex wanted me to become a spineless American beauty...
Just look at yourself Jesse...

Reading the news now has frightened me again...
I am not a paranoid person about the news...But going to Iraq is scaring me...I dont know. Doesn't it seem so not important? I dont understand...I am an American Studies Major, I have read the news everyday on this subject and I still don't get it. I am becoming the subdued person I was after 9/11...reading the news and then crawling into a small corner, retreating...
I dont want fighter jets over my house again like they were last year. I just want it to be like it was when we didn't care about anything...that we had a golden age...
But I just can't fight it anymore...we're going to go to war with Iraq...all my west point friends are going to die...and that's the way life goes...

Just as long as we dont have a Vietnam 2...
I dont want anyone's number coming up...

a good idea for "Adventures in Bardland"

Annie: So how's your hamburger stand on the triangle going?
Thatcher: Great, those Feitler kids will believe anything you tell them!

So I'm sick, we're going to war with Iraq, and I have to go to orchestra tomorrow...

I don't like all this Iraq crap...Bush is such a jerk...He's just doing it because Daddy couldn't oust him so Little George has to do it. Makes me sad to be an American...

Today I got up the energy to CVS and buy a new box of tissues and Vitiman C drops. I got a lot of gatorades too but my taste buds are really messed up so I really can't taste anything...Gatorade just tastes kinda bitter and sweet at the same time...it's weird. Yet, I still keep drinking it..

It's been almost a month since I got a letter from Peter Alfred Schiller...I hope he hasn't got Johnny Garrison syndrome of just, not writing back...there has to be something wrong here. Pete pledged his love to me, his counselor...and I expected that me, being his first love ever...he would bow and break before me...but I guess that I am not as important as I used to be. Even in the world of 16 year old boys, I don't have a chance.

I should really stop drinking this gatorade...

I am sick....

It's just a bad head cold but it's really dragging me down...I really can't function except reading and watching movies. I have a paper due and I really want to start it, but I really dont have the mental capacity to even start it. It's about Thoreau's Walden and his bean field but it's just too thick and dense to even start. So i am confined to my pjs, my bed, and a stack of books I have to read. I tried to read the Mr. X telegram about the Soviet Union but it's too much work...

Being sick really sucks. I wish i was home, then i could watch TV with a gatorade...that would be awesome. I think I'm going to watch Half Baked or The big lebowski or the royal tenenbaums next...after all, that's all I'm good for...reading and watching movies...

if you want to make me feel better...give me a call...I am bored with reading about politics and Moby Dick...=(

Or take me to get more dayquil...im running out...

the question now is: what now?

Do I apologize? Do I get down on my sore knees and cry out, "Botstein, I'm sorry!" My newest character is wearing a shirt that says, "I'm sorry Leon" I don't want to apologize, but this is the top of the top...the ringmaster of the circus of Bard! Rain says i shouldn't apologize but this man has pull...he could destroy my Bard career if Ididn't comply with this simple request of the powerful words, "I'm sorry."

I have to apologize...my life, I feel...is always going to be walking the tightrope...which could be fun. After all, I left the office of Dave Shein pretty happy with myself...I had made a small dent in the structure of Bardland...

She's a strong structure too...