Well my computer just deleted everything I wanted to say so I'm pissed...try again.
There was this horrible catch where Alex had to read my letter to johnny. I thought "this is it, he's going to take his M-16 and shoot me to pieces." But all I got in response was, "if you expect a straight answer form him now or ever, I am afraid you will be disappointed. I don't even think he can be honest with himself. he lies because it is the only thing he can do." Alex thinks Johnny and I have to lie because we're afraid of ourselves...blah blah blah military mumbo jumbo. I love Alex, i really do, but it's so hard to impress him.
So now I'm in a state of total emotional lockdown. I just want to lie down and cry for what I've gone through today. One, yes...i get to write to Johnny and that's good, but getting everything i have ever wanted to say to him on the piece of paper, was just painful. Hopefully he'll respond with something good, or very good, but i dont expect miracles to happen.
the only good thing that happened today was i saved a chicken's life. There was this chicken in the middle of the road and i honked to get it out of the way and when i honked i saw a fox on the side of the road run away from the side of the road. The fox was about to pounce on the chicken...if i hadn't honked, it would be dead.
Anway, enough of my emotional rants
I have a paper to write and a war to start.

I am in a state of elation and joy. I have the allusive "Johnny Garrison's" address. Alex gave it to me, which i never thought he would. You all know the Johnny Garrison story: went to muncie, IN to visit alex, got drunk, Johnny Garrison took care of me...and things...happened. It's been over three months since New Years and I begged Alex for the address. I need closure. So now i have it. I have the power to write and ask, "why?" If Alex reads this (and i doubt he does) THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN. This can put to sleep the demons in my head. Hooray, for all my thoughts will be down on paper. If you have any thought for me as to what to say to Johnny A. Garrison, comment please. I've been writing the letter in my head ever since the plane took off in Indianapolis on Jan. 2.
As for me: I'm off to buy stationary!

Time for the update:
I got drunk for the first time in 3 months and now I'm dying from this post drunk headache. I'm also very "hormonal" in a polite way. I didn't do much except let Trefor watch me get drunk and then laugh at my stupidity. Drinking is not smart.
Tomorrow i may be going to West Point to play cards with my friends. Cards at West Point, isn't that cute? I dont' know if I'm going to go. But who knows...I'm Emily...the world is always changing around me. I picked out my outfit for West Point, the outfit says, "look soldier, i want to be the mother of your children and i can do it too." Who knows, maybe I'm the new general's wife. I still think they are going to erect a statue in my honor at West Point when i gradaute from Bard for being a "five star whore". I'm thinking the statue of me will be right next to George Washington, the founder of the academy.
In six days I'm going to PA. Jeff and I had a long talk (a nice good one I might add) and I'm so confused. Just six days and "i'll be in heaven"
Jesse and I made up and we're friends again. He's on the phone having "hot phone sex" with dino, his "gentleman caller" as i call him. I might leave, I really don't want to hear the conversation. =(
Wow, tonight's entry is very uncreative and boring. I promise whoever reads these, soon there will be real Emily Drama!
Signing off to go save the world: It's Emily in the sky with diamonds.