Last night, I was Britney Spears

Last night was...interesting. It was a night of dancing, celebration, of painful realizations, and of strange conversation.
Jesse and I danced last night. He was Michael Jackson, complete with hat over Michael Jackson's mutilated face...and I was Britney Spears, glasses off, hair a mess...prancing around in a t-shirt that was entirely too tiny for me. There was something about last night, I really needed some "action" if I can be polite about my sexual advances. Of course, my boyfriend and I are basically on the sexless side (his inexperience and my fear of intimacy and relationships makes it hard to cross into that hot and heavy barrier)...and after I danced with Jesse, I went over to Braden's room and I told him how I felt. We chatted, with long awkward pauses that symbolize our relationship. We worked things out but it left us again single...and both a little depressed, I left his room and left the suite a sad woman.
The only person online to "cheer me up" was the past Drag Race hook up, the "Doin' somethin stupid" boy himself...Sam. Sam's comin to visit in March and told me he'd gladly "calm my animal urges." Now, I don't really know how I feel about that. I was never one to dive into the sack with anyone (if you don't count Johnny, considering that was a bathroom floor)...but sex with Sam at Farm? What would Nathalie say, considering their relationship was always confusing to me...Oh, I remember last year waking up with the christmas lights still on, knowing Nathalie and Sam were tangled in the same sheets in his bed while I was alone in our smelly room. Man, I miss Nathalie.
Today I was reading the Observer and I flipped to the back page to see my cartoon. There I was, "Adventure in Bardland" being manwiched by two Bard men of my past: Braden and Lenny. It made me feel kind of strange that I had hooked up with all the Observer Cartoonists, it made me feel a little on the whorry side...not that I am...well, I don't know. What do you think?
I figured something out about myself while talking to Alex a few days ago: that every guy that was my "sexual first" has been a complete asshole. My first kiss was Ned, and he was a complete asshole...the first guy that felt me up was John and he was a jerk to me...and the list goes on and on. The only person who I count as not a jerk was Peter...which is good because if I lost my virginity to a jerk, I would never forgive myself.
Well everyone, Emily is single again...hmmm...what am I going to do now?