Four days left till Bardland...

There's something holding me back about going back to Bard. I've grown accustomed to Darien's shallow behavior, accustomed to television, Grieb's pharmacy hours, great food only a staircase away. I am truly spoiled rotten here in Darien. It's almost like I don't want to go back. Yet, I know that I want to go back, I need to go back...but then I think about all the negative things about Bard...
*Tremblay
*the cold
*Kline
*Leon
*10 AM classes with dewsnap
But there are a lot of good things about Bard
*the suite
*Jesse and all my friends
*Braden
*drinking a lot of alcohol
*Blondies and the psycho waitresses
Certainly I can think of more...but yet I'm torn about going back. Why is that?

It's sad that my life has gotten so lonely and pathetic...I have a routine that never changes. Except for my travelling to Wesleyan to see my camp buddy Ben, it's been the same routine everyday.
Wake up with cat
Shower
Watch "great hotels"
have lunch
work
more tv
go to sleep with cat

Wow, an honest lifestyle, nothing like a typical bard life...with is full of chaos.
I guess I have to figure out what is better: Structure and being bored? Or chaos and tremblay?

I'm starting a magazine I've decided with Jason as my assistant and Kevin agreed to help. We can't think of a title yet, but something that represents American disorder. It's going to be like the New Yorker but not as classy. With Jason's intelligence and my confusion and Kevin's intellect...anything is possible.
Good luck to myself.