I'm thinking of gouching my eyes out...and moving to mars.
I dont think anyone would protest my leaving. I think it would make everything better in the world.
My day today was just boring. I'm filling up space. That's another reason why I'm going to Mars. I dont take up space there. Because there is no one there.
I cut out a picture of Johnny Garrison and looked at it: The eyes, the smirk plastered on his fair skin, the way he looks at peace with himself. Sometimes that picture makes me sick to my stomach and sometimes that picture makes me think that I really was in love with him. Ha...what bullshit. Sometimes I wish i didn't put so much faith in people and watch them turn around to take a rusty spoon and stab you with it over and over and over and over...
But Isaac is talking to me again because he's over the MCAT's and he's ever so wonderful. I'm driving down to West Point to visit him and we're going to prance...it'll be so cute, i can't wait!
So I'm a drug...and now i have proof...how many men have been caught up in my fucking web of deception? I didn't even know i had one in the first place! I should feel proud that i can do this but i dont...it makes me feel horrible. I dont like my web...when i was 14 and fat and ugly...i always wanted to get what i wanted and now that i have, it's just not good...it comes with too much emotion...and yes, it's inspiration but i dont know...inspiration to write my pathetic self involved bullshit I call fiction?
Please stop reading this...and I'll stop writing...because I'm afraid im going to say things i don't mean, and dont want to have to explain myself to the adoring fans.
Tomorrow I leave for Mars...Farewell
I won't be missed...
Emily Who?