My Big Fat Greek...

Watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding makes me realize that I can find someone too. I realized that although last weekend was fun...I really need to concentrate on finding a permanent fixture and not just relying on the past to deal me up some favors. Although the past has been coming alive the past few days.
Enter Peter Sainz...the seventeen year old stealer of my youth. I have always loved Peter, though not the most intelligent person...(he spelled warrant "w-a-r-e-n-t"...) there was always something about him that seemed to fit. Indeed, he drinks far too much and smokes too much for a seventeen year old...but his Darien charms were somehow always to be trusted. I believe he's the only guy to have truly loved me. He told me to call him over spring break...and I most likely will. If I'm going to self-analyze myself, I might as well say it's because I want to be loved and to be with someone who I know loves me. Blake, yes was a treat...but he has no feelings towards me...he's still in love with that other girl...so why waste my time looking for love when there's a boy at home who already loves me and has for two years?
I don't know what I'm getting at...I should always be looking...because it's important. I just think it would fit into my grand life scheme, the new Emily...the more mature nerdish girl.
I drank a whole two liter bottle of Diet Coke with Lemon and I feel, awful...my stomach just feels sour. Though I'm sure having that birthday cake (even though it was no one's birthday) and three glasses of whole milk were just great for it.
Tomorrow will be my day to write my paper and finish my play. My ending, is the shit. The more I think about it, the more I get giddy.
"He's dead, isn't he?"
"How did you?"
"Answer my question, he's dead...isn't he?"
"....yes, he's dead."