ever feel like something bad is going to happen to you?

Today I wasted away my life...I listened to classical music and read about Nam flashbacks and then watched Porn n' Chicken...I do feel pathetic...but when haven't I? I mean, isn't that my goal?

I have decided to turn my book into an "American" non-fiction, fiction frenzy...because I want to experiment into my realm of dark comedy...pretty sad...but I really want to try my hand at it. I think i could do something good with it.
I don't really feel good...something is wrong with me. I am trying to change myself again...which is bad. Nothing is worse than trying to change yourself.
We could do something good...but i should stop changing myself...
wow, i really dont have anything constructive to say.