The Longest Unzipping of My Life

My trip to West Point revealed more about me and Alex than even Indiana could ever tell me. We sat in Schades (ahhh nothing finer than Schades, serving the long grey line for over 40 years, you know) for over two hours, just talking...him in his grey uniform, I in my usual Emily wear of black shirt, jeans, padded bra...And I'm here to explain to you that Alex isn't so bad. It's been the year of backtalk and lashing out because of my confused and sometimes rattled emotions. I could blame myself for everyone's hatred of Alex Raggio, but why blame anything now? But I implore all the readers of my blog to start anew with the boy you hardly know. Sure his political views might seem a little off color for our democratic Bardian ways, but there's nothing wrong with alternative political views. And he does like guns, but we're not perfect. But I learned a lot about Alex that makes me realize why I first started to date him. There is something about Alex...
We had conversations from war to Johnny Garrison. I told him a funny story about something Johnny had told me in my altered state. Johnny leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I would put you in the bathtub, but I don't think Alex would approve of that." I told Alex that statement always made me confused. "You don't want to put me in the bathtub, yet you'll try to sleep with me...I don't think Alex would approve of you sleeping with me either dear Johnny." Alex and I had a good laugh. At least we can laugh at Johnny now.
Alex left me with a handshake, a somewhat odd gesture...but I guess it symbolizes new things to come.
I sped home on i-87 going 90 miles an hour...fast slow, fast fast slow. I was listening to "Hey Pretty" by Poe, the frankly sexual song that always makes me think about Alex. I never liked thinking about Alex in a sexual way, but there was something about the first weekend we spent together, I woke up wearing a white skirt and a white tank top...my arms around a soldier, and not just that, a West Point cadet who claimed me as his own. There was something about that weekend, something that reminded me that I was human, that I was an object of sexual desire, that I was like the girl in the song...
Don't you want to take a ride with me...through my world? And boy, what a ride it has been.
Alex truly was the longest unzipping of my life...in a way you should find the end of the zipper and then everything will be revealed to you. But the zipper just went on and on and Alex never revealed to me but a surprise around everything turn. Even as I, head down in the delta high school parking lot got what was coming to me...I always thought that something good had to be around the corner though I never let anyone know that.
Has the story of Alex ended? Will he just be another name added to the wall among the names of the past: Colin, Jason, Scott, Matt, Josh, Ned, John, Brian, Todd, Peter etc? I really have no idea.
Because Lord only knows what I feel.