This weekend...shit...was an interesting experience of emotional breakdown, of trying to be a good friend...and trying to understand why humans are the way they are.

I always thought of myself as some sort of model girl...do no wrong, Lord I know that's not true...but the thing is that I don't understand how people can act the norms of society. Lord knows I wish i could be normal...but that's never going to happen and I thank God. But I learned a valuable lesson...that I am lucky. Bard is a really a place to think...I am glad I go to a school filled with a very rational group of people (Bard people may scoff at this but let me tell you something, go meet the assholes that my camp friend Chelsea lives with...then you might realize that no matter how much sex and drugs bard kids get into, they're still a hell of a lot more mature than the assholes that go to so called "regular college")
Poor Chelsea, her roommate is so evil, she must be Johnny Garrison's cousin or something. I have come to realize that beyond my control, people are so evil. And you, some girl...one person, you want to change the course of human events and actually change people themselves. But the sad part is, because you are just one person, you never will...individuality is not that powerful...
But as my mind was buzzing driving at 2 AM from hartford last night...i realized that I wish i could do something...I could be a person that strives to help! But Emily Sauter, trying to do anything like that is just a stupid notion...it would never work.
I would like to crusade to get rid of evil people. That would be a good job. But I am not superman...
I am just some girl who wants to find America...