"What I do, when lightning strikes me?"

I've been drugged all day...by one little tiny Dimetapp 12 hour allergy relief. My life flashed before my eyes in the car ride from Darien to the city today to see "The Goat" with Sally Field. She breaks a lot of shit in that play...it's pretty awesome. I was sitting at the table at Jo Allen restaurant with my cousin and his girlfriend Gloria. I do enjoy Gloria, because when I talk to her, she makes me sound like a gossipy Italian Jersey woman, just like her. Except we were talking Faulkner and speech therapy and not hair and nails. Gloria nudged me and asked me if I was still with Alex and I made a disgusted face. She then asked if there was someone else.
And what could I tell them? Telling them that Braden is my boyfriend is a lie...but having no one is also a lie. So I just "I don't know...not really"
All of my days I have been searching for closure from everything from Indiana to Braden. I just want answers, not having to be damn Nancy Drew and snoop around for clues. It took me 9 months to find out what REALLY happened in Indiana and now, I have to tip toe, begging the Suite F kids for clues to figure out how to get Braden to be mine...
All weekend, especially now that I'm drugged up good, I've been dreaming of the way to get him to submit into the arms of Emily Sauter (and I know there are a lot of you out there that are feeling sorry for Braden if he ever ends up with me...that he should stay this clean slate forever, well let me tell you something...I'm not the thing anyone of you remember me by...I've been harden by life...) My ideas are pretty bad. But I think all it will take is a little batman and some "fancy footwork." It'll be like Pete Schiller...but with copious amounts of alcohol.

I drew a cartoon of Braden and I'm thinking of turning into a painting. We're standing in a corner and I'm wearing a Harry Potter shirt and I lean over to him and ask, "Hey, how about we act mature for once? You know, you act like you're 22 and i'll be the naive 19 year old?"
You never know, acting our ages could be thrilling!

I threw a dinner party last night...
It was kinda like the Friday night dinners that I usually go to at Bard...but we had a better kitchen and the cooking expertise of my mother and no alcohol. Steak, baked potatos, and make your own brownie sundaes.
We also went to Blockbuster and rented one real movie...and one movie we could make fun of. We rented Monsters Inc. because it's a quality movie...and our fake movie...well let's just say I feel pretty stupid having watched it. That's right...we rented "How High" starring two fine actors, Method Man and Redman. We did laugh a lot because the movie was just rediculous. Maybe I'm a snobby white girl...but I feel stupid having to sit through that. One upside: The love interest was Lisa Turtle from our fav show, "Saved by the Bell." Everyone remember to watch the E! true hollywood story about Saved by the bell on sunday night at 8 PM. I know i'll be watching.
I do miss Bard though...I keep thinking about it...the good side (the suite) vs. the bad side (TERM PAPERS FROM HELL!)
I got my job schedule from the pharmacy for intersession
Come visit me Christmas Eve AND New Years Eve...because i'll be there, giving old people a hard time and eating candy