Instead of bitching...I will talk about my night in a calm rational manner....

But how can I when nothing happened? I looked good tonight but nothing...Do you have any idea how lonely I am? It's painful!! I've finally gotten over that idea that every guy is going to turn out like Johnny Garrison...but when I step out, there's no one!

I wrote John a letter a week ago and told him i felt used and to email me if he ever wanted to talk to me. Of course he never emailed me...which means another friend gone...how depressing...the shit keeps hitting the fan.

I'm not bitching! I'm telling it like it is. My self esteem is not existant...counseling will do me good. Ever feel like everyone looks at you because you're too immature and stupid to realize that the world hates you?
Shut up Emily, no one needs to hear this...

I'm going to bed...If Bard ends up being like this forever, Lord knows what's going to happen to me...