They Say it's your birthday...

Happy birthday to me. I watched myself turn 20. We were learning about the burning of persepolis by a drunk Alexander the Great when 1145 AM hit. I remember when I turned 10. I was watching myself turn 10 in the Hindley Elementary lunchroom. The janitor asked me why I kept staring at the clock. I told him I was watching myself turn 10. It's strange, watching yourself turn a certain age. Now I am not a teenager. But it doesn't matter. 365 more days till 21 baby.
Last night I was an American. I showed my patriotic duty as a citizen with the only way I knew how, by voting on a reality TV show. Kevin, Catherine, and I spent my birthday celebration watching Fox's new laugh, "Married by America." I could not see any of these singles married and living in the suburbs with kids. They all owned restaurants, drank heavily, talked in cliches to impress some girl's parents. Kevin, Catherine, and I dismissed the show as pure crap though the other show we were watching "Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes" was not so quality either. Reality TV...there's something very American about it. Like Andy Warhol said, "everyone gets 15 minutes of fame." Every channel's got something. On Fox, you can embarrass yourself either as a slut on Married by America, or have Simon the wanker make fun of you. On ABC, you could get put on one of their lame dating shows that makes women fight over some loser (the first bachelor graduated from my town in 1987 and was 1st in the class...now drives a porsche with the license plate StanMBA...just to tell everyone he went to Stanford...sounds pretty Fairfield county to me) what about NBC...how about eating Horse rectum or throwing yourself off a bridge? And CBS, just for classic survivor. It's sad, we call Survivor "classic." I was addicted though, like every other American. Man, I just wanted Rich to put on some damn pants.
TV is not all bad now. Two shows I would highly recommend are on on the same time on Sunday nights. E!'s "Michael Esseny Show" is hilarious. Nothing beats giving a Middle American high school student from Indiana his own talk show. His Bill Clinton impression was pretty amazing. And he gets stars on his show too!! Like Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child, Tom Green! And his mom is the set manager, his nerdy best friend the funny sidekick, the set is the living room. It's genius!
The other show that's hilarious is MTV's "Clone High." What a good show. The story is in the 80's the government cloned all the most famous people in the world and now they are of high school age and going through the trauma of high school. You got Abe Lincoln, his best friend Ghandi, Joan of Arc (who looooves Abe) Cleopatra, who's a major slut, JFK who is also a slut...and many many more. The show is just so funny. Ghandi being a rapper called "G-spot"...I mean, come on..that's genius!
I miss TV...there is nothing better than the tube. Damn you bard for having no tv.
Anyway, tonight's hamburger helper...cake...the usual weekly food for me and Jesse. Time to eat!!
Happy Birthday ME!