I am at home...

Today I got a letter from Peter for the first time in a month...his letter seemed to be a reply of how sorry he felt that he hadn't written but at the same time it seems that the Civil War means more to him. He is a rookie at this and I certainly am not so I shouldn't make haste to make him see that you cannot ignore the woman you supposedly love.
My therapist solved my West Point crisis.
"Why" she asked me, "Do you go to West Point when you are obviously scared of it...you should respect your fear and not force yourself to go their constantly?"
I should respect my fear of West Point...and so I will attend the seminar the first time, but magically "feel ill" the second time...yes, lying would not be good to Bill Mullen, but it would save me the fears of going back to that wretched place. West Point is one of my biggest fears...though I can't explain why, Dr. Crane told me it was because I am not accustomed to the institution and therefore feel out of place. If something happens where I want to go back I shall, but as for now...I would rather stay away from that place for good than to press my fears by entering it again and again only to be more frightened.
Off to read Moby Dick...if you don't mind.